Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Making a Horror Film: Tips from the Experts

1. Ignore the long lines at the haunted studios of Universal Studio's Halloween Horror Nights and create your own fun by doing laps around the entire park.

2. As you fight off the stares of totally creepy men costumed as wolves who love to dress in drag , become inspired to create a richly amateur movie depicting the horrors of two lovers who lose each other in a scary town called "Everything is Fake-ville." Convince yourself it will be very avant-garde.









3. Use props and studio lots when no one's looking to film very important climactic moments.

4. Take a break to stick your head in Jaws's mouth just to see if he'll bite.



















5. Or, as an alternative to #4, hang out with a deranged Mad Hatter who, at any moment, might actually bite your head off.



















6. Observe as dimwitted onlookers get skeeved out by the sight of rats crawling over a lady in a see-through coffin when in reality the rats are scared beyond belief to even be in there with her.




Afterwards, realize your boyfriend is missing and notice that he is balled up on a far away stoop repeating to himself, "I shall not be afraid. I shall not be afraid. Mickey Mouse is my friend."



At this point you shake your head, disbelieving that he could be so scared of a harmless creature. You stop when you're suddenly distracted by a tiny centipede sliding across the street several feet away from you sending you into a fight of screams and "God help me!" shouts.

7. Try to provoke one of the scary monsters to chase you so that you can catch the scene on film. Then actually find yourself screaming of fear as they chase and you no longer find it funny.















8. After several hours of running around the park, being scared by nonsense, filming things of greater nonsense and having a ton of fun doing it, rush back to your hotel just so that you can edit the film right there on the spot and have it ready to release the moment your laptop can hold an internet connection long enough for the upload process.


9. Blog about your experience and post your masterpiece so that all your friends, followers and family can comment on how amazingly fantastic your creative skills are.


Halloween Horror Night - The Jaime and Lauren Story
Uploaded by LaydeeRiv

(To those that subscribe via email go here to see the video:http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x781zh_halloween-horror-night-the-jaime-an_shortfilms)

10. Post a photo with the Simpsons family although it has nothing to do with the rest of your blog, simply to show people how much fun you had on your birthday vacation.

No comments: